Are We Sharing Stains?

It was a typical morning of getting the girls dressed, fed, packed and ready for school. In the rush of our morning rituals, we somehow all ended up in Kenzie's room. Kenzie was picking out her clothes for the day when the conversation steered to Dad's ineptness at putting up their clothes. Apparently, I made the grievous error of placing a few of Kenzie's tights in Mady's closet. As the arrows were flying across the room from my beautiful daughters toward their stereotypical father who doesn't pay attention to whose clothes are whose, I made the small suggestion that the girls share clothes. Mady, my 12 almost 13 year old, was not having any of that. She said emphatically in a matter of a fact tone, "No, no, no, no, no. We are not sharing clothes and we are not sharing stains." It was quite a humorous moment in the midst of our morning chaos.

Kenzie takes after her Dad. Sometimes, she misses her mouth and ends up with a food stain on her shirt. Mady wanted no part of Kenzie's stains. As the morning continued, I thought a lot about that. The question came to mind, "Are we sharing stains?"

Stain means "to leave a mark on something." In the Audacity of Everything age we live, we are constantly being stained with offense. Are we sharing stains? Are we sharing those offenses? Basically, are we tainting someone else's view of a person or situation based on our perceived offense?

It is like a classic scene from a movie or T.V. show, someone throws food across the cafeteria

staining the clothes of an unsuspecting student. Then, the retaliation happens. Food is hurled violently toward the offending party. Still frustrated with the situation, the stained party turns and hurls tuna surprise in the direction of their close friends who have been laughing at their plight of green peas and potatoes oozing down their shirt. Pretty soon, lasagna and bologna are flying across the cafeteria in all directions. Everyone leaves stained.

When we are offended, do we turn around and stain an innocent party? Do we retaliate and stain someone else? The Bible teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Leviticus 19:18 (NIV) reads, " “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people,but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord." We need to love our neighbor by not seeking revenge and not holding a grudge. We should love our neighbor by not sharing stains.

How should we respond then? Jesus taught us how to respond in Luke 6. 

Luke 6:27-31 (NIV) "But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."

So, the next time someone offends us, let's not share our stains. :)

The Audacity of Everything

Audacity is a funny word. It is not a word we use on a day to day basis. It is only reserved for those special occasions when we really want to emphasize a point about an event, group or individual.

Audacity is defined as "a confident and daring quality that is often seen as shocking or rude." A person who is audacious is one who has qualities that come off as shocking or rude. We make statements like "Can you believe the audacity of them?" The boldness of an individual, belief system or decision causes others to react based on what they see, hear and perceive.

America is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode over a topic in a matter of milliseconds. In the last 48 hours, we have seen followers of Christ get upset over a red cup. "The Audacity of Starbucks for making their cup red with no reference to Christ." The flip side occurs as well. "The audacity of church people for getting up in arms about a cup from Starbucks when there are orphans to take care of and people who are lost."

Our culture has become easily offended by anything and everything. Social media has given us instant access to express our opinion (whether it is right or not) and gain public support in a matter of seconds. We are living in the age of "The Audacity of Everything." Everything can be deemed shocking or rude. This blog, your last tweet, a look from a co-worker, etc. It all has the potential to offend because we are easily offended.

What happened to being able to dialogue on different subjects without worrying about the backlash? Where is our civility? Where is our love and compassion? Where is our mercy? We need to learn how to handle offense again.

How do we handle offense in "The Audacity of Everything" age?

1. Check Your Heart - Why are we easily offended? Is it because the offender made us see something in ourselves that we don't like? What caused us to react to something a certain way? Answer these questions and you may find the offense is inside of you and not with the perceived offender.

2. Go Private Before You Go Public - In "The Audacity of Everything" age, we are quick to tweet or post our grievance before we ever talk to the person, group or company we feel slighted us. Jesus in the book of Matthew gives us a great example of how to handle conflict. Matthew 18:15-16 (NLT) states, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses." As believers, we should go in private to the person, group or company. We may find that it was misunderstanding or something that can easily be fixed.

3. If all other options are exhausted, then go public. If the person, individual or company still refuses to listen, then you may have no other choice. Matthew 18:17 (NLT) states, "If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector." If we have no other choice, then go public. However, we still have a responsibility to do this in the right spirit. We should never get personal enjoyment out of taken our offense public. In fact, it should grieve us. It should break our heart to have to take an offense public.

If you would like to read more on this subject, a great resource is "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere.

Why I Decided We Wouldn't Host A Halloween Alternative Event

For the past 20 years, I have served some great churches. As far as I can remember back, my Halloween nights were devoted to Halloween alternative events. Fall Festivals, Trunk or Treats, Hell House, etc. You name it....we've been a part of it. Who doesn't love a good cake walk and bounce house? 

Several years ago, I was challenge by a blog I read by my friend, Brian Dollar. It really made me think about the purpose of Halloween Alternative Events and the effectiveness of them as a church. We spent a lot of money on Hot Dogs, Candy, Inflatables and more. Not to mention all the volunteer hours to pull off an event like that. In fact, one year we did a Hell House and Trunk or Treat on the same night. Every year, we would invite those guests attending our event back to our services. We saw little to no return. It hit me. Most of the people who were coming to our event were making the rounds to every trunk or treat and fall festival in town. They were great events for our church family and I'm not bashing the leadership for making the decision to host such an event. In fact, I always enjoyed the event. Although they were a lot of work, they were tons of fun. Even if no one came and connected to the church because of the event, it was an incredible party for our church family with free candy and games. We were able to spend time connecting with our people in our church and there is nothing wrong with that. 

When we moved to Sulphur Springs, someone told me that the neighborhood we moved into was the hot bed for Trick or Treaters on Halloween night. I admit I was skeptical. I was really skeptical last year when I was sitting on my front porch at 6:00 pm and there were just two groups of trick or treaters that I could see. By 6:30 pm though, our neighborhood was packed. Our street was a traffic jam. We made up over 400 bags of candy with invite cards in them and passed them out. 

This year, I decided to get enough candy for 500 trick or treaters. I got nervous when I ran into a neighbor and she told me last year was "a down year." I grabbed another bag of candy. This year, I was on my front porch from 5:30 pm - 8:30 pm with a steady stream of trick or treaters. We passed out candy to over 550. 

While Fall Festivals and Trunk or Treat type events are great in some locations, they are not right for me here. All of this can be summed up to three reasons why I decided not to do a Halloween Alternative Event. 

1. The Community is already coming to my front door. We didn't need inflatables or free food to attract them. They just showed up. We will redeem the strategic location of my house and use it as an outreach hub on Halloween night. We are already thinking about passing out bottled water to parents next year. 
2. Our Community is already saturated with Halloween Alternative Events. Several churches are already doing quality events and anything we did would be in competition. Basically, we would get the same people who are hitting all the festivals and probably already coming to my front door.
3. We are called to be salt and light. On the darkness night in the world, I want to be a light to my neighbors. 

There are a lot of great events out there. There are people who are called to put them on and they are effective events. Just because another church does it doesn't mean we need to as well. Whatever you choose to do on Halloween, redeem the day! Be salt and light in your community! 

Navigating the Busy Seasons of Life

October has been an incredibly busy month for the Posey Household. This month, we have navigated through our normal routines as well as additional activities for the entire family. There have been weeks that we had something every night of the week. Every weekend has been full of activities. Add on to that unexpected health problems for a couple of family members and it has been quite a month. Overall, it has been a great month. There are several things that I learned during this time that I want to pass on.

1. Enjoy the moment! Many of our activities have centered around our kids ball games or school activities. There were times I reminded myself or had a older person remind me that these days are not forever and to cherish these moments. They will not be playing ball or cheering forever. I want to do my best to enjoy these moments while they last.

2. Guard your time off! There were times when we did have a night off or a cancellation gave us an unexpected night off. It is important to take time to rest and relax. In these times, choose not to fill up the calendar with other things. Bottom line: It is ok to say no.

3. Eat together as much as possible! In busy seasons, it is so easy to run through the drive thru or have everyone eat at their convenience. Fortunately, for our family, those night were relatively few. Sasha made sure we had a meal in the crock pot or something quick to prepare so we could all eat together. The family meal time is important because we are all around the table with minimal distractions (our TV is in the other room). This is a time we hear about each others days and can talk about what is coming up.

4. Don't neglect your time with God! When you are in a busy season, it is easy to let your devotional time go or make excuses why you can't go to church. When we do these things, we are showing our families that God is not as important as whatever activity or event we choose to place before him. Choose to make Him a priority during busy seasons.

What lessons have you learned navigating through a busy season in life?

Why I'm So Geeked Out Over the New Star Wars Movie

I remember the first time I saw Star Wars. I had spent the night with a friend of mine that lived in the Mobile Home park next to our house. His family had this crazy new technology called Cable Television and a new channel called HBO (Home Box Office). I remember watching intently this incredible movie of good vs. evil. From then on, every stick was a light saber or a laser gun. If only I had the collection of Star Wars Action Figures, Vehicles and Playsets that I owned, I probably could retire. (Maybe not, but I wish I still had my Millennium Falcon...they are turning those things into sweet bass guitars...but I digress.)

My Dad took me to the old Oaklawn theater to see "The Empire Strikes Back" when it came out. If I wasn't already, I was hooked. Now, fast forward 35 years, and there is a new movie, "The Force Awakens," coming out in December. Last night, I set my DVR to record a meaningless (to me anyway) Monday Night Football game just so I wouldn't miss the trailer for the new movie. After the trailer premiered, I got online and ordered my tickets for opening night.

Why is a 42 year old man so geeked out about a science fiction movie?

1. Nostalgia - it takes me back to a more innocent time and place. It reminds me of the good times of my childhood. I loved the original trilogy...yes, even the ewoks. There are probably some that wish the franchise would not be revived. They don't want anything to change. Nostalgia should help us appreciate the past, but it never should be at a detriment to the future.

2. The Moral of the Story - Good vs. Evil is a classic tale. The Jedi vs. the Dark Side. The Rebel Alliance against the Empire. What makes Star Wars special is that the Dark Side was redeemed. (Spoiler Alert for those who haven't seen Return of the Jedi) When Darth Vader turns on the emperor to save Luke, it proved there was good in him.

3. Passing it on to the next Generation - I am taking Mady with me. We will watch all 6 original Star Wars movies before opening night. She may not like it. I hope she does. However, I want to make a memory with her. She may not remember a thing about the movies and may never care about them, but she will long remember the night I took her to see the Opening Night of "The Force Awakens." I'm thankful my Dad took me to see the movie because of the memory. Whether it is a movie or activity, it is important for us to make memories with our kids.

4. Unanswered Questions - Anytime a movie ends, there are always unanswered questions. While Return of the Jedi left fans with a positive ending, it did leave me wanting to know what the future held for Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, C-P3O, R2-D2, etc. I'm excited to see the answers to those questions.

5. Technology - The original films were made with the limited, but innovative technology of their time. I am interested to see what can be done with the technology of today. If the trailers are any indicator, we won't be disappointed.

There are some that may read this because it said Star Wars. There are others than could care less about the movie and only are reading it because they follow this blog. Whether you are a fan or not, I want to pose a few questions to you. What is it that reminds you of a simpler time? What are you doing to make memories and share special moments with your kids? When our action figures have been sold in a garage sale or to a buddy (still regret that) and we grow old, the one thing that we will have are those special moments and the memories we make.

Etiquette Lessons from a Cheerleading/Softball/Volleyball Dad

This has been a blog I have wanted to write for a long time. My girls have been involved in youth sports since my oldest stepped onto a soccer field at the age of 4. I coached her first team without a bit of history in the sport other than the soccer ball I owned when I was 8. Over the years, I have helped coached other teams, been a helper or just a dad in the stands. We have been on some great teams and on some teams that were at the bottom of the standings. We have been blessed with great coaches and some that were more like I was when I coached my first team.  I like to observe people and I have seen some crazy things happen at ball fields and stadiums. So, for everyone who has kids, grand kids, nieces/nephews or friends or just likes to hang out at the ball fields because there's nothing better to do on a Tuesday night, here are the etiquette lessons I've learned from being a part of youth sports.

1. Remember, they are just kids. Not only are they kids, but they are kids who are playing a game because they want to do something fun. This is not the 9th Inning of the World Series or the final two minutes of the Super Bowl. This is a Volleyball game on a Monday afternoon at 4:00 pm in the alternate gymnasium. This is a Softball game on a dusty field on a Thursday Night. They are just kids having fun. They forget the losses and the wins more quickly than we do.

2. Don't try and relive your glory days through your kids. That's easy for me. I had relatively few bright spots in my athletic career. For others, it is not. They shined and were very successful under the Friday Night Lights or a packed out arena. Your kids are there to have fun. They may far exceed your athletic prowess or they may never measure up. Be there for them and enjoy the moment.

3. Remember, it is just a game. This one is not as easy for me. I am an ultra-competitive person. If there is a winner or loser, I want to win. If I'm playing a game of Monopoly or watching my favorite team play, I want to win. In my mind, the game is the most important thing happening at that moment. It needs to be called fairly and everyone playing to perfection. My greatest regrets coaching sports or being a fan at my daughter's games have been the times I let my competitive drive get the best of me. It usually manifests itself when the game official or umpires make an obvious bad call in a tight game. This point probably would be better written by my wife who reminds me that it is just a game. There is no reason to lose your cool over a missed call by an amateur referee.

4. Be more encouraging than correcting. In Youth Sports, we are dealing with kids who are still learning the basics of the game. They need instruction, but they need more encouragement. Whether you are a fan or coach, encourage twice as much as you instruct. As they mature in their sport, they will need different types of instruction. I would instruct a top High School player differently than a 6 year old who is picking up a bat for the first time. Kids, especially younger kids, need to know that you believe in them. When coaching kids, I opt for the sandwich method by encouraging them, correcting them and then encouraging them. For example, "You fielded the ball great. Next time, watch where you are throwing the ball. Your eyes were looking in the stands when you released the ball. That's why the ball went wide. You can do it! You'll get them next time."

5. Let the coaches coach. There is nothing worse for a coach than a parent trying to coach their kids from the stands. As parents, we are the key influencer in our child's life. Of course, they are going to have their eyes on us when we are yelling instructions to them. The problem is it distracts from what the coach is trying to do. They are thinking of the whole team. Over the years, I have seen multiple coaches try and get the attention of a player who is zoned in on their mom or dad. We all want our kids to be successful. If you desire to help them, spend some time with them in the backyard playing catch. When it comes game time, let the coaches do their job.

6. Don't publicly criticize the coach. You never know who is sitting around you. Remember, the coach may have family (including kids) who are sitting near you. Before kids get to middle school, the coaches are mostly volunteer. The only thing I have ever received as compensation for coaching is a free t-shirt. They are doing it for the love of the game and the love of their kids. If you disagree with the coach on something, talk to him or her in a private setting. I would also suggest not going to them right after the game. Call them up during the week.

7. Never criticize someone else's child. They are kids who are learning the game. They will make mistakes. If you want to pay $150 to buy a ticket to see the Cowboys play, then criticize the players who are making millions. If you are sitting in the bleachers watching 7 years olds play, then don't ever criticize them. They are kids. They are playing to be with their friends and to have fun. Definitely, don't yell at someone else's child. You are not their coach. If you want to coach, then pick up the application for the next season. Otherwise, cheer and encourage. We never know what some of these kids may be dealing with at home and the last thing they need is a random grumpy adult yelling at them or criticizing them because their serve flew into the stands or they weren't in sync with the other cheerleaders.

As parents, coaches and fans, our attitudes and actions can affect our kids and their teams. It is important to remember we are teaching them life lessons by the way we act and react in youth sports. Those lessons will far out last their ability to play the game they love.

The Mark of the (Beauty and the) Beast

Who doesn't love Disney World? They have exceptional customer service and the experience is incredible. This summer, our family vacationed at Walt Disney World for the second time. It was an absolute blast! The lengths Disney goes for the customer to have a memorable experience is sensational. Other organizations can learn a thing of two from them. 

One of the changes Disney made since our first trip was the introduction of the MagicBand. The MagicBand is a bracelet (complete with the trademark Mickey ears) for each member of your family. For those staying on Disney property, the MagicBand serves as your room key and tickets to the park. It also is used for your fast passes and dining plan credits. When you have a fast pass scheduled, you walk up to the fast pass line and scan your MagicBand (by touching the Mickey Ears on your band to the Mickey ears on the Kiosk.) When you are ready to eat, you place your order and scan your MagicBand. If you want a souvenir, scan your MagicBand at the gift shop and it charges your purchase back to your room. It was more convenient than the credit card type ticket/room key we had on our previous trip.  

The first time we rode the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, a new roller coaster in Magic Kingdom, I noticed a camera flash midway through the ride. This is not uncommon because Disney has several cameras on roller coasters to snap your picture. After we got off the ride, I began to look for the picture kiosk to see what the pictures looked like. There was no kiosk as on the older rides. I left the ride and thought maybe we had missed it somewhere. Later in the day, we were passing by the ride and I asked the cast member (what Disney calls their employees) about the pictures and where could I go to see it. He said it was already on my Disney PhotoPass account. I pulled the PhotoPass account up and there our picture was. Amazing! How did they know which cart we were in?

On our final day, we ate lunch at the Be Our Guest Restaurant inside Beast's castle. The food there is exceptional. You must try the Grey Stuff, but I digress. At lunch time, the Be Our Guest restaurant is a Quick Service restaurant. A Quick Service restaurant is Disney's way of saying "Fast Food." We walked in and placed our order. I touched my MagicBand to the Mickey Ears. The cast member instructed me to find a table and leave my receipt out. Since there were no seats available in the West Wing, we walked through the ballroom to the quiet dining room. After several minutes, a server came by and grabbed the receipt off the table. Then, they immediately gave us our food. I was fully expecting them to get my receipt, go back to the kitchen and bring us our food. No, they had the food with them when they came to get the receipt. I was stunned. I asked "How did you do that?" The server smiled graciously and replied, "Magic!" I smiled back and said, "No, MagicBand." From that point on, I referred to this little technological wonder of a bracelet as the Mark of the (Beauty and the) Beast. 

It truly is amazing technology. Disney knows your whereabouts and how you spend your money. They can even tag your account if you've been kind or rude to a cast member. I left Walt Disney World with a greater sense of what customer service is all about. However, I also left there with a renewed understanding that we are living in the End Times. The technology to pull off End Times events has evaded our world for centuries. I don't think Mickey Mouse or Walt Disney either one is the Antichrist. However, I do believe their technological advances proves our generation can experience the events of Revelation. Is a microchip under the skin or a MagicBand type bracelet the mark of the beast referenced in Revelation 13? I can't answer that nor can anyone claiming to be an expert in eschatology. Only God knows that. I do know we need to leave each day as if this were the last one on earth. That means we love God more than we ever have and we do our best to reach as many people with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

When you see those little Mickey Ears, I hope you remember Jesus is coming soon and we have a responsibility to fulfill the great commission. I am looking forward to that day. How about you?