Talk Now and Later

Parenting is one of the most rewarding, yet difficult tasks. As a parent, my role is to mentor, disciple and train my children. When they were younger, it seemed easier to have those teaching moments. Of course those teaching moments were limited to things like: "Don't put that in the electrical plug!" and "Get that out of your mouth!" Now that they are older, the conversations are shifting to more difficult life topics. How do you handle the difficult subjects, like sex and tragedy?

In his new book, Talk Now and Later, Brian Dollar addresses how to talk to your kids about life's toughest topics. Brian uses his own experiences as a parent and a veteran Kid's Pastor to give valuable insight and wisdom to today's parents. In the book's introduction, he writes, "Don’t wait until something happens in your family to have these conversations. Have them early, have them often, and have them wisely. Then, when a crisis occurs, you have a track record of communication about the topic." Brian addresses how to talk to your kids about:

• God
• Death and Tragedy
• Sex
• Self-Image
• Making Wise Choices
• Divorce
• Friendships
• Money
• Bullying
• Restoring Broken Relationships

There are a lot of parenting books out there, but very few that deal entirely with communicating with your children. It is such an important and necessary topic. Brian Dollar has written a masterpiece on communicating with your kids. I encourage you to pick up a copy of this new book. It will encourage you and help you. It will also be a resource that you can use for years to come as you continue to lead your kid's through life's difficult moments.

You can order a copy of the book here.

A Pastor's Take on the Supreme Court's ruling on Same-Sex Marriage

Today, a landmark ruling came down from the Supreme Court lifting the ban on Same-sex marriage across our nation. You can look at this politically and analyze the federal government imposing its will on the states. That is not my purpose in writing. My purpose is to give a biblical response to the ruling.

Here are some thoughts:

1. Just because I disagree with the ruling doesn't mean I hate those that agree with it. In fact, I genuinely care for you. I care enough to do what the scripture says to do. Ephesians 4 gives me my mandate as a pastor....to equip the saints to do the work of the ministry. In Ephesians 4:14-15 (NLT), Paul writes to the church at Ephesus, "Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church."

That is my mandate....to speak God's truth with love. Just because the truth of God's word is different from your belief doesn't mean I hate you. There are a host of people that will resort to name-calling, picketing, belittling and hate. I am not one of those people. As people of Christ, we need to be careful that our speech, tweets and posts are speaking the truth in love.

2. As the church, we cannot expect the government to do our work. The early disciples were looking for Jesus to set up an earthly kingdom. He came to establish an eternal kingdom. You never have nor never will be able to legislate morality. It is not the job of the government, school systems, etc. to disciple our children in the truth of God's word. It is the job of the family and the church. It is time for the church to be what God intended it to be.....a spirit-empowered movement bringing hope to the nations.

3. As believers, we need to be careful not to let culture dictate our convictions. There are many operating under the umbrella of "Christianity" that have strayed from the truth of scripture in the name of "political correctness." There are others who have twisted scripture to support their lifestyle. Today's ruling is about homosexuality, but this principle could be applied to other things as well. Paul instructed Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NLT), "For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths."

4. As the church, we will be persecuted for our beliefs. It is happening already and it will only increase in the days ahead. Paul continued his instruction to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:5 (NLT), "But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you." We should not be afraid of the consequences, but carry out the ministry God has for us. Our responsibility is to work at telling others the good news. The good news is Jesus loves you and died for my sins and your sins. He sacrificed His life so we could have eternal life. There are brothers and sisters in Christ around the world that are jailed, beaten, ridiculed, mocked and persecuted for the cause of Christ. We have been blessed in America to not have that mass persecution. However, we need to ready and not afraid of suffering for the Lord.

As the church, we need to spread the message of hope in our communities, country and world. 2 Corinthians 2:15-16 (NLT) states, "Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing. To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume. And who is adequate for such a task as this?" My prayer is the American church would be perceived as a life-giving perfume. To quote DeGarmo & Key, "We gotta job to do. We're runnin' out of time to do it. You got a gift to use. Get out in the world and use it." 

Let's be the church God intended us to be....a spirit-empowered movement bring hope to the world!

Books I Read in May

I wanted to highlight the two books that I read in May. Personal Growth is huge to one's success. One of the ways I choose to grow is through reading.

When Work & Family Collide
by Andy Stanley

This is an updated version of Andy's classic, Choosing to Cheat. In our busy culture, we will have to "cheat" something. We will either have to cheat our families or cheat our employers. Andy is not talking about robbing or stealing from your employer. Neither is he advocating working less than your required time. However, he does suggest that when work and family collide that you don't cheat your family. If you need to change work hours, ask for less responsibility, etc., then do whatever it takes to put your family before your career.

9 Disciplines of Enduring Leadership
by Kent Ingle

In my earlier days, I read a lot of John C. Maxwell books. I still love Maxwell. However, it is refreshing to read a quality leadership book by someone besides him. It gives you fresh insight and illustrations. Ingle has written such a book. This book would be great for new leaders to help them chart the course of their future leadership.  It is also a great reminder for existing leaders to help them stay or get back on the right path.  I highly recommend this book.

I've fallen and I can get back up

Life is a series of choices.  We all make good and bad choices. When I woke up this morning, I had a series of choices to make. I had to decide I was going to get out of bed. what I was making the girls for lunch, what I was going to wear and whether or not I was going to work out. By our choices, we establish habits. Again, some of our habits are good and others are bad.

There are times when we slip into old ways or fall from making good choices. Maybe you neglect your time with God or you stop exercising and eating right. There are a variety of reasons.  Wait a second! Reasons is just a nice word for excuses. There are a variety of excuses, but we know we have fallen from our previous path.

This is where many buy into the lie. The simple lie that you've fallen and can't get back up. There are some that think God won't love them based on their choice to sin again. There are others who feel disgusted with themselves over poor health choices and think they never can lose the weight or get their strength back.

No matter how far you've fallen from your spiritual or physical goals. YOU CAN GET BACK UP! The last year has been incredible in some aspects of my life. We moved and started a new chapter of our life. With that, I struggled to establish new health habits at my new location. My routine (both exercise and eating) was drastically disrupted. I found myself sitting a few weeks ago disgusted at how far I had fallen. It would have been easy to make excuses, but I knew it was just because of bad choices.

I started thinking back to all the meals that I had ate the previous week. There was not one meal that I was glad I had ate. Sure they provided me nourishment, but I could have made healthier choices. So, I determined from that point on I was going back into what I call "Biggest Winner" mode. It was the mode that help me win two weight loss competitions. I determined to exercise and eat right again. It has been three weeks and I'm still going strong.

Don't let a temporary setback affect your future. It would have been easy for me to continue the path especially with summer coming. Summer is a busy time filled with camps, conferences and vacation. Those are hard places to stay healthy, but I've determined to not let that be an excuse for a lifestyle of bad health choices.

Is there an area where you have slipped up? A relationship? Your Spiritual Walk? Health? Or perhaps something else? Determine today not to let your past mistakes affect your future. You can get back up again!

Books I read in April

Books are a powerful medium to gain knowledge and cause personal growth. I have set a personal challenge to read at least 36 books in addition to my Bible reading in 2015. Here are the books that I read during the month of April.  The first three books are from a growth group for Rural Pastors called the Water Tower Network that I am a part of this year. 

 

Transforming Church in Rural America

by Shannon O'dell

Shannon gives an insightful and passionate plea for ministry in rural communities. This book is both practical and inspirational. Shannon shares his personal story as well as principles he has learned by serving in Rural America. It is a must read if you are a pastor, staff member or church leader in a rural community.



In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership
by Henri J.M. Nouwen

This is the second of Nouwen's books that I have read.  This one had some powerful insights in regards to Christian Leadership. There are books that are easy to read because of writing style. His style is difficult to read at times, but the truths are powerful.  

Date Your Wife
by Justin Buzzard

Buzzard issues an incredible challenge to husbands to not let the pursuit of their spouse stop with the "I do's." He gives principle as well as practical advice to help husbands keep the romance alive in their marriage. I  would recommend this for all husbands.

Thrill Sequence: Living for What Really Matters
by Rob Ketterling

This is the second of Ketterling's books. The first one, Change before you have to, was such an incredible book that really challenged me. For that reason, I had super high expectations for this one. Unfortunately, for me, this book fell short of his first book. It started off slow. However, it did get better as the book went on. If you are struggling with jumping from thrill to thrill, this book is for you. 

Family Update - The Winds of Change are Blowing

For the last five years, our family had the privilege of being a part of Northside Church in Texarkana.  I served as the Student Ministries Director.  We were blessed to be able to serve with great friends and lead incredible students.  This last Sunday, July 6th, we were elected to serve as the new Pastors of First Assembly of God in Sulphur Springs, TX. 

As with any transition, there are a lot of conflicting emotions.  We are extremely excited God has led us to lead a great group of people in Sulphur Springs. We know God has great things in store for His church. I am honored to be a part of His plan for Sulphur Springs. We can't wait to build new friendships and pastor the congregation God has called us to. We love Sulphur Springs! 

On the flip side, we are sad to leave family and friends.  Last night, we announced our resignation to the Oneighty students at Northside.  They will always have a special place in our hearts.  Northside is not another stop, but it is home.  It is the church I grew up in as a kid.  We loved serving with Pastor Jimmy and Renata. They are more than pastors and mentors. They are friends.  I could spend time naming many names, but I know I would forget someone.  I do want to thank Northside for loving our family. You do not know the impact you have made on our lives.  Our last service at Northside is July 27th. 

Another piece of this is Atlanta ISD. Sasha was blessed to work for this great district for seven years.  My girls have attended school there.  Thank you Mrs. Whatley for loving and mentoring my wife.  Thank you to all the teachers, principals, coaches, etc. who have loved and taught our children.  We will miss you all very much. 

We love you Oneighty, Northside and Atlanta ISD! 

"We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work." (John 9:4 NLT)  We know God has called us to this task. We covet your prayers as we move, sell our home, Sasha finds a new job and we start our new ministry assignment.  We can't wait to see what He is going to do through us. 

Lessons from the Garden of Gethsemane

This last Sunday, I had the privilege of communicating at Northside Church.  Here is the message.

Lessons From The Garden from Northside Church on Vimeo.